Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
