I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
