So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
