I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
