she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize