i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
