Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
