I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Every concussion has its silver lining
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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