we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
