I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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