if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
