I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize