So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize