I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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