If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
