Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize