I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize