I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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