shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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