She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
