what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
