i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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