Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize