piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
