Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
