Plan B is the new Plan A
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
