I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
