Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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