Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
