Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
