Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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