Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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