I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
