what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
