peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
