I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
