So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
