i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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