ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
