sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
