Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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