in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
