the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
