FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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