Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize