Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
