what day is it and did you see me today?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
