He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
