dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
