so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
