Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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