Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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