dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
