he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
