I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
