That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
