Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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