3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
