I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I look better un-naked...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
