Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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