What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
