he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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