New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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