I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
