Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I smell stomach acid.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I am midnight drunk by noon
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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