you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
