He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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