I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
