I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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