i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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