so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
