Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
