I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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