One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
