no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
