I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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